🐸 TIMMY IS INNOCENT 🐸 FROGS CHOSE HIM 🐸 $3 PER FROG OR 2 FOR $5 (LIMITED TIME) 🐸 FREE TIMMY OR THE FROGS WIN 🐸 NEIGHBOR IS A FROG HATER 🐸 TIMMY DID NOTHING WRONG (EXCEPT EVERYTHING) 🐸 🐸 TIMMY IS INNOCENT 🐸 FROGS CHOSE HIM 🐸 $3 PER FROG OR 2 FOR $5 (LIMITED TIME) 🐸 FREE TIMMY OR THE FROGS WIN 🐸 NEIGHBOR IS A FROG HATER 🐸 TIMMY DID NOTHING WRONG (EXCEPT EVERYTHING) 🐸
WANTED FOR
FROG LARCENY
+ 17 OTHER CHARGES INCLUDING "BEING 5"
🐸
TIMMY, 5 • FROG LORD
PUBLIC ENEMY #1
TIMMY "THE FROG LORD"
REYNOLDS
LAST SEEN: HIS BEDROOM (IN TIMEOUT)
REWARD FOR CAPTURE: 3 FROGS OR $9 (WHICHEVER IS FUNNIER)
THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS A FROG EMERGENCY.

FREE
TIMMY
THE FROG
LORD

HE'S 5. HE'S INNOCENT. HE JUST REALLY LIKES FROGS.

EVERY $3 YOU SPEND = ONE FROG THAT TIMMY DIDN'T HAVE TO CATCH HIMSELF (PROBABLY)
FROGS LIBERATED
1,847
RAISED SO FAR
$ 5,541
TIMMY'S CURRENT MOOD
UNREPENTANT
CASE STATUS:
JUDGE IS NOT AMUSED. TIMMY IS.
THE TRUTH THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

Timmy (age 5) discovered a thriving frog community in Mr. Henderson's backyard pond. Instead of doing normal 5-year-old things like eating glue, Timmy started a highly profitable amphibian retail operation.

He was selling top-quality frogs for $3 each (or two for five dollars if you looked sad enough). His customers included other kindergarteners, the mailman, and one very confused grandma who thought they were "very realistic keychains".

"The frogs were just sitting there. They looked at me with their little eyes and said 'Timmy... take us to a better place.' So I did. I'm basically a frog hero." — Timmy, in his police interview (which was mostly him eating animal crackers)

Mr. Henderson (a known frog miser who calls them "his children") filed a 47-page lawsuit for trespassing, conversion of personal property, infliction of emotional distress, and "creating a frog black market that undermines neighborhood pond stability".

Timmy is now facing up to 12 juice boxes in fines and possibly losing TV privileges for a week. This is a travesty of justice.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: TIMMY'S STUFFED SHARK NAMED "MR. BITEY"
PROSECUTOR: MR. HENDERSON'S LAWYER (A LITERAL ADULT)
THE FROG CATCHER 3000
Click the frogs. Sell them. Fund freedom. It's that simple.
FROGS CAUGHT THIS SESSION
0
MR. HENDERSON'S POND (STOLEN)
PRO TIP: THE ANGRY FROGS GIVE BONUS $1 WHEN YOU CLICK THEM
OFFICIALLY LICENSED (BY TIMMY)

THE FROG EMPORIUM

All frogs are $3. All purchases go directly to Timmy's legal defense fund (and also his candy fund).

🐸
$3
REGULAR POND FROG
Your standard issue green boy. Comes with a little bit of pond water still on it for authenticity.
• Good at jumping
• Likes flies
• Has no concept of private property
🐸
$3
THE BIG CHONKER
This frog has seen things. Probably ate a whole mouse once. Extremely heavy for its size.
• Requires two hands
• Will judge you
• Excellent emotional support frog
🐸
$3
THE SCREAMING FROG™
This one never stops making noise. Perfect for annoying your parents or starting a band.
• Volume: MAXIMUM
• Has no off switch
• Named "Kevin"
🐸
$3
FROG WEARING A HAT
The hat is imaginary but we all agree it's there. This frog has class. This frog has drip.
• Very fancy
• Refuses to ribbit after 8pm
• Might be French
🐸
$3
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY (TWICE)
Timmy caught him, he escaped, Timmy caught him again. This frog is now part of the family.
• Resilient
• Probably has a PhD
• Will try to escape your house too
🐸
$3
THE METAPHYSICAL FROG
Is it even real? Are any of us? Timmy says it whispered the secrets of the universe and then peed on his shoe.
• Transcendent
• May or may not exist
• Comes with its own tiny reality
THEY CAN TAKE OUR FROGS BUT THEY CAN'T TAKE OUR SPIRIT

TIMMY'S LEGAL DEFENSE FUND

Goal: $8,500. This covers lawyer stuff, court snacks, and relocating the remaining frogs to a pond that isn't owned by an angry man.

RAISED: $5,541
GOAL: $8,500
65% TO FREEDOM
Every dollar makes Mr. Henderson slightly more mad
OR JUST THROW MONEY AT THE PROBLEM
Timmy will personally thank you by screaming into the void

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

"Timmy sold me a frog and now my life is better. My marriage is stronger. I have purpose."
— Dave, 41 (bought 7 frogs)
"I was against it at first but honestly the frogs are very polite and one of them knows my name."
— Mrs. Patterson (neighbor #2, not the angry one)
"This child is a menace. Those were MY frogs. They had names. They had dreams."
— Mr. Henderson (the plaintiff, a hater)
"Timmy gave me a frog for free because I only had $2. He said 'it's on the house king'. I would die for this child."
— The ice cream man
"My son came home with three frogs and a business card that just said 'FROG LORD'. I'm both terrified and impressed."
— Random mom from the playground
"As Timmy's court-appointed stuffed animal, I can confirm he is a good boy who only did crimes for the right reasons."
— Mr. Bitey (defense counsel)
TIMMY'S OFFICIAL POSITION
THE FROG MANIFESTO
  • 1. THE FROGS WERE BORED. WE GAVE THEM ADVENTURE.
  • 2. $3 IS A FAIR PRICE. INFLATION IS REAL.
  • 3. MR. HENDERSON NEVER PLAYED WITH THEM. HE JUST STARED.
  • 4. I AM 5. I CANNOT BE HELD TO ADULT STANDARDS OF PROPERTY LAW.
  • 5. FROGS DESERVE TO BE FREE (OR AT LEAST IN NEW HOMES FOR $3).
  • 6. IF YOU BUY A FROG YOU ARE PART OF THE RESISTANCE.
  • 7. I LIKE JUICE BOXES AND ALSO FROGS.
— dictated by Timmy to his mom while eating a fruit roll-up
LIVE FROM THE COURTHOUSE (KIND OF)
11:41am — Timmy just told the judge "frogs have rights too" and then asked for a snack.
11:28am — Mr. Henderson's lawyer presented Exhibit A: one (1) very sad empty pond photo.
11:14am — Timmy's mom offered the court a juice box as a settlement. Denied.
10:59am — The judge asked Timmy to stop drawing frogs on the witness stand.
SIGN THE PETITION TO FREE TIMMY
Over 8,200 signatures (some of them are frogs who can't write)
🐸
TIMMY NEEDS YOU.
The frogs need you. Mr. Henderson needs to touch grass.
This is a real cause. Timmy is a real child. The frogs are... allegedly real.
TIMMY'S FROG EMPIRE LLC (NOT A REAL LLC) • "WE DIDN'T STEAL THE FROGS, THE FROGS STOLE US" • NOT AFFILIATED WITH ACTUAL LAWYERS OR ACTUAL 5-YEAR-OLDS • PLEASE DO NOT SUE US • THIS WEBSITE IS 100% UNHINGED ON PURPOSE • FROGS SOLD "AS IS" WITH NO WARRANTY OF FROGNESS